What will I say to Jesus on the Cross at the Calvary? Jesus, You have
The army officer who was standing there in front of the cross saw
how Jesus had died. “This man was really the Son of God!” he said. Mark 15:39 (GNT).
I will never see and feel for Jesus the same way again because of the new meaning I found in Him which engraved in my heart and soul forever. I had this personal journey in internalizing Jesus’ feelings in the garden of Gethsemane leading to the cross. I want to dig deeper with His emotions and understand His feelings.
In Gethsemane, the Son asked His Father to take away the cup from Him if possible. This indicates that Jesus is not willing to embrace the cross AT FIRST. He refers to the chalice where MY OWN SINS was present. It’s been years since my heart aches when it came to my awareness that the Son is not willing to be crucified.
It is just this year (2021) that I found what my heart have been looking for. On that evening in the garden He prayed alone for He now sees His upcoming passion and death. He pleaded to the Father. He was deeply bothered. He was afraid. He asked His disciples to watch with Him while praying, went back to them to find them asleep. He prayed three times, go back to His disciples three times, and yet they were still asleep.
Jesus was troubled. He was terrified. He was really in anguished. He said “The sorrow in my heart is so great that it almost crushes me.” Matthew 26:38 (GNT). He sweat like blood because of the extreme distress. He was down on His knees, facing the ground. Pleading but surrendering. It was an excruciating experience for Him. He was really in agony. Jesus, our Lord, as a human, experienced these emotions – a great sorrow.
He was betrayed. How hurtful it was to be betrayed by one of His disciples. He was abandoned. How breaking that moment for Him, to be left alone by His disciples, close to Him, whom He treats as His friends, as His brothers, and as His beloved. Those were extreme emotions adding to the fact of His passion and death. He greatly suffered emotionally and there was a great pain. I felt that. If I was there with Him in the garden, I would have prayed with Him, I would have protected Him, I would have stayed on His side.
He endured, He accepted, He obeyed, and let the will of the Father be done. Jesus abandoned the word “I”, and give way to the “You” (God). Your will be done. “No one takes my life away from me. I give it up of my own free will. I have the right to give it up, and I have the right to take it back. This is what my Father has commanded me to do.” (John 10:18). Jesus acts and lives wholly from the Father and for the Father. He have the authority not to embrace the cross but He then willingly lay down His life for us.
Father Michael La Guardia, SBD, on Not Afraid – Holy Week Online Retreat mentioned that Jesus saw a sneak peak of His passion and death, but more than that “He saw me”. I know of His love but acknowledging “me” is different. His love is too personal and it strikes directly to my heart.
“You have overcome” are the words I am going to say to Jesus on the Cross. I can say sorry and thank you, but it is not about “I” but it is about “Him”. It’s not about how I feel towards what He did for me, but it’s about how He conquered and surpassed the agony He had to face before His death. He accomplished what He needed to do. Jesus was exalted on the Cross – the Great Love – our Salvation.
He is victorious, glorious, and always will be.
**My journey started with The Agony in the Garden – seizing and living the reflection I had. The Passion and Death of Jesus will be dwelt next year.
**The Bible, Jesus of Nazareth Vol. II by Pope Benedict XVI, The Feast video talks, Not Afraid – Holy Week Online Retreat, Bible Studies; Lover of the Word by Feast North Luzon (with Bro. Ilaw Cruz), and Bibliakonia by Feast Mall of Asia (with Father Michael La Guardia and Father Bob McConaghy) helped me understand and grow in this journey.
**I’ve watched Father Michael La Guardia, SBD at The Feast online mass and in Bibliakonia, a weekly Bible Study. Because of him I started being intentional and personal with my journey with the Lord. I considered him as my spiritual mentor and my relationship with God has never been the same. There was a seed planted in my heart, it is growing little by little, and praying it will bloom with His grace. A screenshot of his reply on my reflection. A remembrance that will never be forgotten. He proclaimed the Word, and He is now face to face with the Word. Father Michael is now with the Father.
#PersonalReflection #HolyWeek2021 #AgonyInTheGarden #JesusOvercome #FatherMichaelLaGuardia #TheCross #GreatSorrow #GreatLove